"For Sale" on Maylong Dr

"Home is where the heart is."

That couldn't be a more accurate statement.

Although I have moved away from Rochester and more importantly Maylong Drive, my heart ever since the day I left on January 3rd, 2004 at like 6 in the morning has faithfully still been there. That place I ever so affectionately refer to as home. That place where I was brought home from the hospital......the first and last baby girl to be born to the family. I took my first steps in that house. I grew up in that house. I met my best friend across the street, on Maylong.

I swung on the swing-set in the backyard......climbed the huge tree (be4 my dad had it cut down because if lightning hit that sucker it would have demolished our house).....played hid-and-go-seek with all the kids in the neighborhood.....played kickball in the cul-de-sac (circle to the laymen).....got stung by bees....swam in the pool countless summers and attempted to learn how to dive (my dad was a good diving teacher I swear I'm just more of a belly flop type gal I guess).....football in the snow in the front yard (I was more like a tackling dummy rather than an actual player)....."King on the Mountain" on the snow mounds at the end of our driveway.....shoveling that darn driveway (I managed to get out of shoveling a lot with my cute cunning ways tho :)......Decorating the house at Christmas, Easter, Valentine's Day, St. Patty's Day.....who am I kidding my mom decorates for Spring....yep folks who knew Spring was worthy of decorations (Fall too!).....I could go on and on about what went down in that house growing up but ultimately what makes that house and all the memories inside it so special are the fact that no one else knows about them but my family and I.

The "For Sale" sign went up about a month ago around Easter time. My aunt sent me a picture of it via our cell phones. I'll admit a tear rolled down my cheek.

How will anyone possibly appreciate that house as much as I have? As much as my family has?? The whole neighborhood for that matter. I'll be heading home in July for a week and that's when I'll be saying my good-byes to 77 Maylong. I know people and their families move all the time and it's just a natural part of life.....but I've never done it before. I mean yes of course I moved to SC but that house.....that home of mine was always there. Yes of course I'll have a brand new house to come home to at Christmas time and the people inside will still be there and will still be the same......but.......somehow it just won't ever be the same.

Oh Beth.....silly Beth.....grow up....move on....make new memories....is anyone saying that right now reading this?? Life is all about closing chapters once they've been read and starting new ones....eventually finishing the book and sparking interest in another. I know......I do. But who said that was easy?

Oh Beth....silly Beth....it's just a house.....you'll have a brand new one built in time for you to come home to in December.....is anyone saying that right now reading this?? You're right......it is just a house because of course it's the people and events that took place inside that house that made it a home......you are right. But who said it was easy to say good-bye to the place that made it all possible?

Maybe I'll do something to the house in July to make it much less attractive to potential buyers.....you know like when the Brady kids created this elaborate scheme to make the house seem haunted so their parents wouldn't sell on an episode of the Brady Bunch......don't say that sounds immature either.....guaranteed my two older brothers would so be in on this scheme with me if I thought of a good enough one!

Oh well.....I'm just wishful thinking.....gosh darn life gettin' in the way of everything.

The stars.....

So every night for as long as I can remember I've taken a few moments, directed my gaze to the sky, and fixed my stare on one single star....doesn't matter which one...and then, I wish on it. Having typed that so that I can actually read the words out loud makes me sound sort of like a 4th grade daydreamer of a gal....but I'm choosing not dwell on that fact and I'm going to move on.......Anyway, when I perform this nightly ritual it's almost always the same wish, with the exception of a few nights when I was either really angry at someone/thing or feeling really low about someone/thing. Ultimately though it's always the same. Now, that doesn't mean that ever since I can remember I've been wishing for something that just isn't coming true and I keep hoping that one of these nights and one of these stars will suddenly be my "lucky one," that just means that I want this wish every day and for the rest of my life so I'm not going to stop asking the stars to help me attain it.

I sound really childish now don't I?? I mean most "normal" people ( what is normal anyway?) say prayers when in need or to say thanks and to be honest I do that too. But for me, wishing on the stars gives me a sense of remaining "young at heart" which, in my opinion is the best cure for any emotional ailment.

Looking up at a clear night sky, even if it's just for a few seconds, allows me to take some time off from a chaotic day and just breathe. I say a few words (star light star bright yadayadayada....I know you've all done it), pause, dream for a second, and poof my wish has been granted.

What do I wish for you ask that could be granted so quickly?? I'll tell you what....and no I don't believe that my wish won't come true if I share it out loud....because to be truthful, my wish isn't something the stars, God, the sky, the night, or anyone else in this world can grant me.....all the stars are doing is sparkling billions of miles away.....they are something beautiful for me to look at while I pause, breathe, and dream for a few seconds and to me, that is all they need to be.

I wish for first....inner peace of mind even if it only lasts a minute.....which while I stand still staring at the night, I am granted. And second, I wish for happiness of any sort....even if that too only lasts for a minute....which while I stand there, breathing, pausing, dreaming....I am also granted. Any other happinesses I manage to attain are there because I allowed them to be.

Chaos, stress, sadness, anger, frustration are all relative and disappear when I say those words......

"star light, star bright......."