Time to say "Thank You"

With my move back the beach looming in the extreme distant future, I wanted to take some time to contemplate on my love for family and friends in NY and it's high time I said thank you.

Even though these two people deserve more than mere thanks, I'm going to feebly put into words what the past 22 years have been like with them as my beloved mom and dad.....

.....Mom, your virtues are something to envy. Even though I consider our relationship to be a close mother/daughter bond, there are still some aspects I wish that were different about our closeness. What I'm trying to say is; I wish I was more like you. You are without a doubt the kindest woman on earth and anyone who knows you could agree with that statement. I wish I had half of "saintly" traits you possess. You've always lent your ears when I needed them and your wise advice when asked for. You've never said "I told you so." You've allowed me to grow in ways I never dreamed possible if I didn't have your constant support. Even though there have been plenty of times when I have disappointed you, I want you to know I try my hardest not to, believe it or not. To me, disappointing you and dad is much worse than any punishment, criticism, ridicule, or revenge I could ever receive. I love you mommy dearest, I'll miss you, thank you, from the bottom to the top of my heart....thank you.

Daddy dear, thank you so much for always carrying me on your shoulders. What a little princess I was, never wanting to walk around anywhere! I loved when your face got scraggly with a beard, the bristles tickled my little palms.
Have I ever told you that I admire you? If I did, I don't say it nearly as often as I think it. You are a Veteran and someone who makes it impossible not to be extremely proud of. I am blessed to have a hero for a father. You are a protector and all you do is care about others. You are always more than willing to drop what you're doing if I need you and come to my rescue (even if I am miles and miles away from home) Where you and mom are will always be where my heart is. I love you daddy, you are a remarkable man, so in my own way I'm trying to say....thank you.

Now, my two big brothers. Definitely could not have had two more perfect big bro's if I had the option of hand-picking them myself. Of course if I was 10 writing this entry I would be complaining about how annoying you both were; always beating on me, teasing me, making me cry, using me as your tackling dummy in the snow, taking my dolls and hiding them on me or ripping their hair out, etc. Fortunately, I'm not 10 anymore. I was always so lucky growing up to have you both on my side. You two have taught me so much, and you probably don't even realize it. So you didn't make it to all my cheerleading tournaments. You were there for me when it really counted and you continue to be. I like having friends as brothers. Thank you....thank you for just being you.

I don't even know where to begin to say thank you to the sister I never had. Aunt Chris I want you to know that I would not be me if you weren't around. You have helped guide me along the bumpy path of that which is my life. You have always made yourself very approachable. I believe I can tell you anything without worry of judgement or criticism (except of course when it comes to the decisions I have made involving certain piercings or "body art"--but we won't talk about that right now) You are constantly available to listen to me bitch or cry or anything of that nature. That isn't the case with just me either, you are this way with everyone in your life. I admire how you've given back to the people in your life who've nurtured you in the past. As frustrating as that may get sometimes, you still remain poised and devoted. I love you Aunt Chrissy, I'll miss you tremendously. Thank you for absolutely EVERYTHING you do for me, everything you give up for me, just plain EVERYTHING.

My lovely friggin girlfriends will not go un-thanked in this blog. You gals are my rock. Our friendships haven't always been tight and we've even gone certain amounts of time without speaking at all, but honestly that's what I love about each one of ya's. No matter what happens or how long it's been since we've talked, we've always managed to find our way back to each other and when we do.....it's as if nothing changed, we still love each other just as much as we did day one. Each one of you does something different for our click, and without any particular one, the click just wouldn't be the same. For this I must apologize, because sadly I'm leaving you girls. None of you will EVER be replaced in my heart and no amount of space or miles that separate will ever change that (sounds rather cliche) but it's the damn truth. Thank you for being my sanity when I feel scared or lonely. I know I'll always be able to count on you and I thank God for that. I love you....GOSH :)

Last but certainly not least....JSJ. Just because our relationship did not go as smoothly as either one of us had hoped and worked for, I'm always going to be thankful for ever having you in my life. I grew with you, I matured with you, I felt what true love was with you. I'll never forget the way you made me feel because genuinely I've never felt higher in my entire life. The "good" parts of our relationship always overcame the "bad," which is ultimately what helped us to last so long. Unfortunately, things changed and we'll just leave it at that. I need you to know how special you were/are to me , you will never be replaced and I thank you for all you did for me the past 5 years. I feel no regret and I feel no resentment. I'm glad I had the chance to be yours. Good luck in all you do, you will always be in my prayers and heart.

NY and the people I love will be missed, it's just time for me to go.